A Year With Crime Sorciere
by DaughterOfPhoenix
Summary: Crime Sorciere may just as well be Fairy Tail 2. Twelve chapters, twelve months, one year. Poor Jellal. I'm pretty sure he never wanted this... Rated T for swearing.
1. January: The New Year Disaster

**Warning: There will be OOC-ness and there will be swear words. You have been warned.**

 **Note: Oración Seis Go To Hogwarts updates may be delayed... I'm having trouble picking who should be Oración champion.**

* * *

Chapter 1: January- The New Year Disaster

 _Beginning of Party_

Cobra didn't want to go into the Fairy Tail guild hall.

The recently disbanded then reformed guild was having their first party since their reformation, and they had decided to invite fellow guilds Sabertooth, Mermaid Heel, Lamia Scale, Blue Pegasus and Crime Sorciere. Cobra was pretty sure the guild building would be destroyed by tomorrow.

Being around Crime Sorciere and hearing every one of their thoughts was bad enough- but he knew that Fairy Tail was bound to be exponentially worse and would probably drive him over the edge into insanity.

Hoteye's brain was downright terrifying to the Poison Dragon Slayer. It was all unicorns, rainbows, sunshine, his little brother and love in there. Cobra almost preferred Hoteye's money-obsessed self to his love-obsessed self.

Racer's thoughts rampaged around like a herd of wild hippos on steroids who were losing their minds, and trying to untangle even one thought instantly increased the intensity of Cobra's near ever-present migraine.

Midnight's head was like the opposite of Hoteye's. Half the time he was asleep and dreamed dreams that gave Cobra glimpses into his unconscious that the Dragon Slayer did not want to see. The rest of the time was too weird for Cobra to describe.

Angel's mind was one of the sanest that Cobra was exposed to on a regular basis, although it was occasionally dominated by thoughts of murder and eviscerating. But in less sane cases, Cobra stayed as far away as humanly possible from her mind.

Then there was the other two. Meredy's mind was like a hybrid of Hoteye and Racer- confusing, but not as fast, and cheerful, but not so love-crazy. Cobra mostly stayed out of that, since it was half filled with shipping plans.

Also, that one time where Jellal had finally let his guild have dessert still haunted Cobra's worst nightmares. Heck, if nightmares had nightmares, they'd probably dream about Meredy after cake.

Jellal's brain was also fairly sane, but it seemed as if the insanity of the Oración Seis had infected him as well. Or maybe they were all like that. One more self-argument about the psychotic cake-obsessed redhead known as Erza Scarlet and Cobra would slide Jellal over into the Mostly Insane column of his 'My Guild's Insanity' chart.

Hoteye, in his enthusiasm, threw the doors open.

Correction. Hoteye sent the doors flying off their hinges.

 _That's the first fine and it hasn't been five seconds yet._ Jellal sighed _. Why did I want to recruit those five again?_

Cobra snickered. Jellal and Meredy called the Oración Seis by their real names. The Oración Seis called each other by their codenames, since they were way too used to it.

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER

Angel had abruptly lost her shit the second she saw Yukino (Because, come on, Jellal had just chewed her out for breaking a plate and called her Sorano) and there had been much hugging and crying. Which made half of the people gathered cry as well.

Midnight had gone to find a quiet corner to sleep, and Meredy had ran to Juvia. Hoteye had begun preaching. Cobra, Jellal and Racer were the only ones who proceeded in a dignified manner to sit at the bar.

Well, that peace had rapidly vanished.

A while later, Angel was pissed off beyond measure, Midnight was still asleep, Hoteye was passed out, Racer had a grand total of fifteen wounds, and Cobra was almost certain his ears would start bleeding at any second.

It was all Jellal's fault.. Accidentally.

Crime Sorciere sans Hoteye sat in the corner, being the one group that was smart enough to avoid getting drunk. All (well, almost all) of the other men were passed out on the floor.

"How did this happen again?" asked Racer.

"This is Fairy Tail." Cobra sighed. "Where's Jellal?"

"And Angel!" said Meredy. "Now that you bring that up... where's all the girls?"

"They went outside to recover their dignity," said Cobra blandly. "I-"

They were cut off by a scream from the bathroom.

"SORA- WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Meredy jumped to her feet. "Jellal!"

The scream continued.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

"Should we check on our venerated leader?" asked Racer.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

A moment of silence passed. Midnight's red eyes flew open.

After a few minutes, Jellal staggered over to his guild's table and collapsed on the free chair. His blue hair had been turned into an afro, his clothes were torn and bloody, and he had a very large slap mark on his face.

"What in the entire world was that," stated Cobra. "And Jellal, why the fuck is your hair in an afro?"

"Did you have to wake me up?" asked Midnight. "Who attacked you?"

Jellal shuddered. "Sometimes I wonder if Sorano-sama knows she's a demon..."

Meredy's mouth dropped open. "Did you just call Sorano-san sama?"

"Yeah. She's worse than Mirajane."

"Why do you never call us -sama?" whined Racer. "You never even call us -san."

"Because you don't call me that, so I won't call you that. Sorano, however, has now earned my respect." Jellal sighed and slumped over.

"How, exactly?"

Jellal sighed again.

* * *

 _Well, it wasn't really his fault that all the girls got humiliated._

 _The men had a drinking contest. Crime Sorciere minus Hoteye was smart enough to sit out of it, but just saying, everyone else got drunk. Jellal also drunk a little, but not as much as the others._

 _A little known fact was that Jellal was shit at holding his alcohol. He himself didn't know, never having really drunk wine or anything before._

 _He was still sane to know up from down, right from left, and male from female. But at this point he pretty much had trouble defining a good idea from a terrible idea._

 _Also, the males were oddly suggestible._

 _A period of time after, with a few men already passed out, Jellal had somehow gotten it into his head that... Well..._

 _He had blurted out that the guys should go kiss the girls they liked._

 _Stupid?_

 _That's half-drunk Jellal for you._

 _Of course the guys went to do it. Jellal suddenly realized that probably wasn't such a good idea._

 _Five minutes later, the guild was in chaos. The girls had fled outside, even the girls who hadn't been sexually harassed. To Jellal's mild relief, neither Sorano or Meredy had been forced to kiss someone. But he was pretty sure Erza had been, and that made him mad. Very mad._

 _However, instead of apologizing, he went to the bathroom to throw up- and that's where everything went wrong._

 _When he exited his stall, he heard a soft voice say, "Open, Gate of the Balance."_

Balance=Libra. Libra=Celestial Spirit. Celestial Spirit+Libra= Yukino Agria.

 _That went through Jellal's head. He was pretty sure Yukino had been kissed- by Sting, probably._

 _"Libra."_

 _He whirled around to see the Zodiac Spirit freeze him to the ground._

 _"SHIT!" he yelled. "Yukino!"  
_

 _Jellal struggled to move and it only got worse._

 _"I'm not amused, Jellal," warned Yukino. "I was kissed. In front of everyone. By Sting."_

 _"I-" Jellal managed to say before Erza emerged, looking furious. "I don't know whether to forgive you! Jellal, I hate you more than anything right now!"  
_

 _Sorano and Lucy also walked out. Lucy smirked at him, looking angry as well, before holding up a key of her own. "Open, Gate of the Crab! Cancer!"_

 _The spirit appeared and Lucy pointed to Jellal's head._

 _In an instant, the crab spirit was done and Jellal's blue locks had been turned into an afro. Cancer chuckled before vanishing._

 _"Shit," he repeated as Sorano approached him with a knife in his hand. Erza requiped into Heaven's Wheel Armor and glared at him._

 _Jellal knew perfectly well that Sorano was good at hand-to-hand combat, as well as weapons. She had proved that when she had attacked Cobra for no fricking reason at all._

 _The bluenette shut his eyes and waited for the end._

 _Then he felt a ferocious slap on his face. His eyes shot open and saw both Sorano and Erza glaring at him with their hands raised._

 _"SORA- WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"_

* * *

"So... You're saying that Angel, Yukino, Lucy and your girlfriend beat you up?" asked Racer.

"She is not my girlfriend!" snapped Jellal, feeling heat rush to his cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah.." Cobra snickered. "I can hear your thoughts, Mister, and don't give me another speech about the 'walking in the light' thing."

"Erik." Jellal wanted to smack Cobra upside the head before he heard the Titania's voice behind him.

"Oh, Jellal?"

"E-e-erza?" He turned around and the two conscious males of the former Oración Seis (Midnight had fallen asleep again) smirked as they saw the bluenette visibly trembling.

"Jellal, we're not done with you yet."

"SHIT."

* * *

 **Hope you liked it!**


	2. February: Valentine's Day

**Here. Enjoy.**

 **Okay, some chapters (most chapters, actually) will be with Fairy Tail, but the others will only include Crime Sorciere.**

* * *

Chapter 2: February- Valentine's Day

God, Meredy loved Valentine's Day.

Perfect opportunity to make dream ships come true- and she would have an excuse.

Which was why the pinkette sneaked over to Fairy Hills at about five in the morning to find a certain white-haired demon mage.

* * *

"Do you want to do Fairy Tail or Crime Sorciere first?" asked Mirajane.

"Depends on which one would be easier. Does the greater amount of wizards make Fairy Tail easy?" Meredy tapped her chin.

"Yes, too easy, kind of. The most obvious or easy pairings are already done and betted on, and, well... the others aren't exactly easy to put together!"

"Which ones are the ones already here?" Meredy bounced on her tiptoes.

Mira handed a list over.

Meredy scanned it. It read:

 _Natsu and Lucy_

 _Gray and Lucy_

 _Gray and Juvia_

 _Gajeel and Levy_

 _Elfman and Evergreen_

Meredy stopped reading it. "Why do you have two pairings for Lucy?"

"Because someone voted for Gray and Lucy, I don't remember who. I think Juvia flooded the entire hall after that one."

"Okay. I want to start off easy.." Meredy considered. "Who don't you have, and they have to be someone I know well..."

A lightbulb went off in the pinkette's head.

"Well..." she hesitated. "This one could probably get us killed."

"Ooh, who?" asked Mirajane in excitement.

"Do you have a pairing for Erza?"

Mirajane frowned. She should have been scared. Would have saved her lots of pain further down the road- but unfortunately, she saw the Titania's love life as a challenge.

"Well, is there anyone fairly obvious for Erza?" The demon mage scanned her surroundings just in case.

"Are you kidding me?" Meredy laughed. "Jellal, duh!"

* * *

The two got their plan together.

Meredy and Mirajane walked over to the Crime Sorciere table. Mirajane asked Kinana to sub for her at the other side of the bar, just for a while. Jellal was talking with Erza.

"Duck and cover," said Cobra the second he saw their faces. "They're up to something."

"Probably turning some poor chap's love life into shit." Angel looked up. "Well, what is it, Mira-san?"

"Jellal and Erza," said Meredy in a hushed whisper.

"Are you insane." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. From Racer.

"Ah, but they are doing it for love!" declared Hoteye.

"No, probably just trying to ruin Jellal's life."

"Don't tell either of them! Please!" Meredy begged him.

"I shall do that out of love," Hoteye said happily.

Cobra rolled his eye and Meredy sat down. "Okay, I'm going to Sensory Link with Jellal while Mira-san interrogates you guys-"

"Don't interrogate us, we'll freely give you the information," said Angel helpfully. "I'm still pissed at him for the New Years incident."

Mirajane winced. "Don't remind me." She sat down with a notepad and pen while Meredy cast her link and prayed fervently that Jellal wouldn't notice.

Fortunately, Jellal was currently in the middle of a heated conversation with the woman whom he liked, but whom he believed he couldn't like. Meredy listened in on his conversation and caught this.

"I- Erza, I can't. You know that you and I-"

"You and I what, Jellal?"

"I have a-"

"No, you don't. I know you too well. You've always been terrible at lying, and I don't like it when people lie to me."

"I thought-"

"That you could trick me with such a stupid lie? Like I said, I know you, and you wouldn't-" Erza's voice dropped. "A person like you wouldn't kiss someone who wasn't his fiancee."

Meredy couldn't help a snicker.

"I can't be with you. I'm too-"

Erza stood up, her gauntleted hands clenching into fists. "We are taking this outside. There are too many people to-"

"Alright." Jellal sighed and threw his hands up. Meredy paled and removed the mark as fast as she could, then turned to Mirajane as the bluenette and the redhead exited. Jellal glanced around warily.

Either because he was scared that someone had seen/heard that conversation or he had really sensed something watching him.

"Mira-san!" Meredy jumped up. "They're going outside, and-"

"Really!" squealed Mirajane.

Cobra covered his ears. "Please don't do that," he told Mirajane.

"Okay, sorry! But what do we do?"

"I have an idea. Do you have a recording Lacrima or something?" Meredy quickly formed her reckless plan in her head.

"Um, yeah, but-"

"Bring it over!"

Mirajane was happy to comply. Meredy studied the Lacrima that was a little bigger than a sparrow.. "How much does it record?"

"About three minutes, I guess?" Mirajane was nearly bursting with excitement. "Why, do you want to-"

"Yeah, I do," Meredy said with a grin. "Just wait, I'll take care of this." She sprinted over to Lucy. "Hey, Lucy-san! Mind if I borrow Gemini for a while?"

"What for?" asked Lucy immediately.

"Nothing, just to spy on Jellal and Erza," Meredy blurted without thinking.

Lucy's eyebrows rapidly disappeared. "Are you sure? Because it seems kind of like your survival instinct is broken."

"At least I'm not the one going out there!"

"Good point. What do you want Gemini to do?"

"Turn into the smallest bird possible that can carry this Lacrima, then start recording when Jellal and Erza start doing interesting stuff," ordered Meredy, holding out the Lacrima.

The blonde frowned. "You do know I'm going to need more to tell Gemini than 'interesting stuff'. Those two are fucking weird." She shuddered to remember the time that Gemini had turned into Lucy in a towel.

"When they start kissing."

"If they start kissing," Lucy corrected. "They probably won't."

"When they start!" The pinkette insisted happily.

"You're confident, aren't you?" Lucy grinned and summoned Gemini. Meredy watched as the spirit transformed into a large wood pigeon and flew off with a cooing noise and the Lacrima in its claws.

Meredy, with a ginormous smile planted on her face, strolled back to Crime Sorciere.

"Shit. What did you do?" demanded Racer.

"Oh, nothing..." said Meredy.

"Shit." Cobra echoed his guildmate as he saw Meredy's thoughts. She was broadcasting them extremely loudly- so loud that Cobra was restraining himself from yelling, "EVERYBODY HERE FUCKING CALM DOWN SO I CAN FUCKING GET RID OF MY FUCKING HEADACHE!"

Meredy giggled.

* * *

Five minutes later, Erza walked in. Crime Sorciere immediately turned off all their conversation and turned to look at her. They could not fail to notice that she had a little bounce in her step.

There was a loud squawk as a pigeon flew in and was abruptly hit by a rock that came out of nowhere.

It wasn't even noticed as it shot over to Meredy, dropped something in her hands, and melted away in a flash of light.

Meredy beamed down at the Lacrima in her hands as Erza felt the stares on her. She turned to face Crime Sorciere and Meredy shoved the Lacrima away. "Why are you staring at me...?" asked Erza.

The pinkette couldn't help it. "Well, you went out with Jellal a couple minutes ago, and now you come in, and you're _smiling_ -"

Erza's face swiftly turned the same color as her hair while Jellal walked in. He noticed what was going on instantly. "Um, Erza, why is your face all re-" He spotted Meredy's unabashed grin, Angel's slight smile, Cobra's smirk, Midnight's mildly interested face, and Racer's snicker. _Shit._

He stalked over. "Okay. What have you crazy people come up with now."

"Just that..." Meredy repeated what she'd said to Erza.

Jellal immediately said, "I know it's Valentine's Day. And, Meredy, before you get it into your head, please-"

Meredy started giggling. Jellal swore and stormed off. Meredy called Mirajane over, and they watched the Lacrima.

* * *

That night, Crime Sorciere was preparing to leave when Mirajane and Meredy pulled the Angel and girls of Fairy Tail aside into a small side room, sans Erza.

Everybody recognized the look on their faces and began to pray.

Because when either one of those shippers smiles like that, you make peace with your god, then run as far as you fucking can.

Well, everyone but Juvia, who was hoping desperately that it was a promotion for her and Gray.

It wasn't.

"A new shipping has been confirmed," announced Meredy.

Whispers broke out, but Mirajane shushed them. "Watch this!" She turned the recording on.

Long story short, Jellal and Erza kissed twice in the video.

Half of the girls fainted and the others gasped so loudly that the door rattled.

"Meredy? Sorano?" called Jellal. "Why are you-" His footsteps approached. "We're leaving, I-"

"Shit." Angel grabbed the Lacrima and thrust it behind her back as Jellal entered. "Guys."

"It was nothing," said Angel with a charming smile. "We can leave now." She grabbed Meredy's hand in her pale one and dragged her away. She shot a wink at the girls and vanished with the rest of Crime Sorciere.

* * *

"Soo... Erza," said Lucy as she leaned over the table.

Erza knew she should run.

"You like Jellal, don't you?" asked Lucy sweetly.

"I-" Erza choked on her cake as she remembered kissing him earlier. It had been quite enjoyable, and-

She nearly groaned aloud. There had been that one wood pigeon.

"It was Gemini, wasn't it?" She glared at Lucy.

"Yeah."

"Shitfuckshit."

"Jerza is now confirmed!" announced Lucy cheerfully as Erza's head dropped into her arms.

* * *

"Why are you giggling uncontrollably?" Jellal asked curiously as the girls began giggling for the umpteenth time that night.

Cobra's shoulders shook in silent laughter.

Jellal marched over to Meredy and Angel. He looked down as the girls spun, expressions of fear and guilt racing across their faces.

Cobra fell to the floor in laughter. Racer followed. "You two are in deep, deep shit."

 _TWO MINUTES LATER_

"Well, you two were kissing-"

"Meredy," Jellal growled. "I can't believe you."

"It's Valentine's Day!" Meredy straightened. "Don't be like that."

"When you showed the girls, it was past twelve o'clock."

 _Crap_ , thought Meredy in despair.


End file.
